Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize