I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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