Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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