I have demons in me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
