And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
