please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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