Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
