Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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