just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
