Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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