Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
we should paint friendship bongs
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