seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
