im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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