$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
