R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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