i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
