I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
