ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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