So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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