Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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