I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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