Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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