She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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