I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
