My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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