therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
