Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize