I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
