Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
