Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize