How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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