make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
