every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Are we still banned from the library?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
