we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
