I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
