i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
People in love make me want to vomit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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