you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
