You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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