I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
