someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
