Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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