we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Drunk is a universal language darling
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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