btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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