just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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