dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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