i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
