I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
