just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
