I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
