Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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