The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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