I just made out with a guy for $7.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
