he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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