Yo dont text me then not text me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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