singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
