An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
