Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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