I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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