There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
